Team HMSTC is delighted to bring you this article by Indu Khurana who specialises in helping people come to terms with challenging health diagnoses.
BAM! A New Diagnosis
Transitions are tough to deal with for a lot of people, at the best of times. But getting a diagnosis for an ‘autoimmune’ and ‘life-altering’ condition, such as Multiple Sclerosis, can feel like being hit round the head with a hammer. It leaves you reeling.
For many it can feel like you’ve entered a cul de sac – a one way dead-end.
For others, such a diagnosis may produce a sense of relief because you now know what’s wrong with you and it wasn’t all in your mind (as some doctors will have you believe).
For yet others who have never heard of the diagnosis, it can produce little reaction until you look it up on the internet and then you may read of the most extreme outcomes.
As the information starts to sink in, you may feel awash with shame, inferior to others. If you are struggling at work – due to fatigue for example, or cognitive fog, it may feel as though you are constantly fighting a battle; or that you can’t cope as well as others seem to. You may find yourself feeling easily stressed, especially in the face of targets that previously felt manageable. All these can just make you feel worse.
Please remember …
It’s important to remember though that these are typical symptoms of life-altering conditions, and it is NOT you. You have not magically become rubbish at your job. These symptoms can lead to a downward spiral and impact your mood.
Sometimes, conditions such as Multiple Sclerosis can become one long transition as we encounter yet another symptom or decline in ability.
Such a significant transition can be a lot to deal with. It can take years to fully accept, if at all, because it involves an enforced life change. You haven’t chosen this illness, this new lifestyle, these adaptations, and feelings of anger or a deep upset at what you’ve lost can emerge.
A time to reconsider
We spend so much of our time thinking that we have some control over our lives – especially where we conduct our goal-orientated and action-focused lives. A life-changing condition can put a halt to that. It forces you to slow down, to reconsider your priorities. Where once you were invincible and able to do anything and everything you wanted, now every step may be painful or unbalanced, or just impossible as you must take to a set of wheels to get about.
It may force you to reconsider your working life, your relationships, how others will start to see you and crucially, how you see you – all the things you never thought to think of. It may even lead to you to wondering who you are, as you travel through this transition process, the impact of medication choices, future symptoms, or likelihoods.
You may feel overwhelmed at times by the number of changes and how society at large reacts to you when you need to walk with a support or start using a rollator and you are not yet old. You may wonder which friends will remain when you cancel yet another social event. You may feel depressed at how narrow your world can feel sometimes.
These are all normal responses, and you don’t have to deal with them alone. There are support groups out there. Alternatively, counselling may be useful to help you learn to deal with these various aspects.
About Indu
Indu Khurana is a trained Coach, Counsellor, and group facilitator. She specialises in helping people deal with difficult health (and other) transitions. Indu provides a highly tailored service for individuals struggling with life-limiting conditions and support for those caring for or impacted by a loved one’s illness. For more details, take a look at www.indukhurana.com.
We are grateful to Indu for writing this insight for our charity.